work in progress
Hi. My marriage of 43 years had been in BIG trouble for the last many years. We were both very angry and even though I kept asking for us to go for counselling he wouldn't even consider it. We both were very angry at each other and we created a toxic environment to say the least. Our 3 grown children didn't want to be around us anymore. Then he decided "we were done" and went and had two affairs last summer. I couldn't believe the pain I felt. It was inhuman. He spent the whole summer showing me how angry he really was at me. He blamed me for every THING, and yelled it in my face many, many times throughout the summer. I was to blame for lots of our issues, but not ALL of them. I told him many times over the years that unless we did something about our relationship we were going to get a divorce. I did not say I WANTED one. I couldn't believe how intense the pain was that I felt. (I did a lot of yelling too) I kept telling him that actually I never wanted a divorce, I always wanted to get help and heal our relationship. In October of last year (2016) he suddenly, and I mean suddenly, decided to hear me and start to consider reconciliation. (thats when a whole new kind of pain began.) I started going on line and looking for help. Your website came up and I subscribed for your free daily emails. I also had them sent to my husband's email, which I later realized I was not supposed to do. He actually started reading them and after many horrible days we ordered your online fix your marriage program. We've been doing that for a while now and although I have a long way to go to get to the point of complete forgiveness, your program has given me hope that we can get there. The one aspect that I still balk at is setting the past aside and moving forward.Some days I can and then I lose it again. I'm trying to get there, but I still have feelings of, by doing that, I'm letting him get away with his pain inflicting bad choices that tore our whole family apart. Our children are very divided from each other and us. I agree with everything that you teach me to do, I'm just so hurt and angry that I can't obey all of the suggestions. LOL. I also struggle with feelings of embarrassment and shame that two old people could ruin their lives so badly. We are 65 and 66. We are a long way from a healthy relationship but your program has been an amazing help to us. My husband is not the type who wants to take ANYONE'S advice and he respects your advice and takes it to heart. We are a work in progress, but we are not giving up. Thank You for your program.